So, this last weekend we moved into a 4 bedroom Townhouse.  This was supposed to become the kids nesting house, but yet every time I asked their dad when we were moving the kids, I got an answer of “I don’t know” which resulted in my last post…  We ended up setting up air mattresses at the town home, because the boys didn’t want to leave.  ❤  We also went shopping and bought them enough clothes to keep at the town home for a 5 day stay with us.

Yesterday morning, I received a text message from my ex-husband asking me how we’re going to handle things starting today.  It caught me off guard, because realistically the only thing that has happened is that my love and I essentially moved to begin setting up the nesting house.  Nothing changes right now.  The kids still live in the Nesting House, because none of their things are moved over.

I decided to offer to keep the kids the remainder of this week, for stability and ease for them.  When I texted him back, I also made sure to mention that we needed to think about this nesting situation.

whoaI mentioned that our daughter confided in me that he had asked her if she was ready to be a big sister.  So I flat out asked him, and I asked him not to fib about it.  He responded back and said that she was 3 weeks late recently… I asked him if he realized that she was pregnant and he said he thought so.

My next step was really just a test to see where his thoughts were.  I then asked him if he realized that WHEN they have kids, this nesting situation is not going to work… He said he knew.

The remainder of our text conversation moved from moving the kids into the new nesting house to creating two separate homes and sharing custody of the kids.  It was civil, it was relaxed and it was the most comfortable conversation that I have had with my ex husband in 2 years.

Long story short, I asked him why they don’t just move into the current nesting house and rent out the apartment they’ve been staying in.  My love and I would then keep the town home as our home and then we’d figure out how to handle the kids.  He agreed and said he would talk with his wife about it to see if she wanted to do that.

He texted me this morning and said that she was on board for the change.  I decided to bring up the kids again and asked if he considered letting them stay with me in the town home Monday through Friday.  I mentioned that it would give the boys stability, routine and comfort of being in an area where they have friends and attend school. He responded saying he understood, but wasn’t sure if he could be away from them for that long.  I told him that I understood completely, and we would figure it out eventually.

We moved the conversation along and agreed that the houses would be split.  I am happy, relieved and excited.  With my ex-husband still planning on having children with is new wife, the nesting thing is absolutely not going to work out because his new family would have to be uprooted every so many days and it is not fair for them to have to suffer for the sake of our children.  When I spoke with my boys and told them that they were staying with me through Friday afternoon, they were so excited.  I explained that it meant they wouldn’t be seeing their dad until Friday evening unless he came to take them to dinner mid week and they were all fine with it.

So, big changes for everyone and I’m still trying to wrap my head around it all but I really feel like this was a long time coming and will work out to be the best for the boys.

 

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